Times

Time is a strange thing.

Sometimes you are going through things, and you think they are going to last forever. Even some days, some hours, feel like you are going to be in that one place forever.

I can think of SEVERAL times in my life where I thought a certain time would never end.

Like nap time. And I would just have to lay there, pretending to be asleep, even trying to fall asleep, but sleep would never come. And I thought I would never make it through. But I did. Everyday. I did. And now 17 years later I wish I was back there again, and I wish nap time would have never ended.

Or in my last blogpost - my trip to Swaziland this summer. There was a time of about 5 days that seemed to last an eternity, and I wondered if it was ever going to end. And it did. Now I've gone to Swazi and back and have been back for almost 3 months.

Or what about something I haven't shared with the entire world yet? Times of extreme heartbreak. Nights of crying, turning into months of crying. Wondering if I was ever going to get over this. And sometimes, wondering still.

Why do we always think this way? That we're never going to get through this time? Or we're never going to be happy again? Or maybe the opposite. That we're never going to loose this happiness we have. Or this friendship we have. You know why? I think it's because that's all we know. All we know is what we have lived through and experienced our entire life up until this very moment.

Think about that for a minute.

Everything we know right now is a compelation of what we have known in the past, all of our entire past moments piled up to bring us right now, to this present moment.

We don't know what tomorrow will bring. We don't know what 5 years from now will bring. We don't even know what the next second will bring.

I like to think of what my life would look like if it were in the Bible. I give myself a whole book because, well I don't know I just do. I don't think it has to be like as long as Genesis, but hey, that's easiest for my brain is just to think of getting an entire book about my life. (And also, our names ARE in the Book of Life, so I think this is a fair analogy). Anyways. Like I think about what certain times will look like in My book. Some times I think will be the ENTIRE book, might only turn out to be a chapter. Or maybe a verse. I think of a lot of stories in the Bible where I feel like HUGE things only get one verse. Like the story of Jacob and Rachel. Here's this guy, who agrees to work 7 years for his wife, and all of it is summed up in: "So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." Gen. 29:20. A lot of things can happen in 7 years! Maybe he lived through famine. Maybe he lived through war. Maybe his great aunt died and he had to travel a month to go to her funeral. Maybe he fought a wolf. Maybe there were nights where he cried himself to sleep, wondering if it was all even worth it. But we don't get to know about that stuff. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. Nope, all we get is "So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." And THEN he ends up getting married to Leah, and has to work ANOTHER ENTIRE 7 YEARS for Rachel. But it's summed up by "And he worked for Laban another seven years." Gen. 29:30.

Or even Jesus' life. We get the story of the boy Jesus at the temple, and then this verse "
 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." Luke 2:52, and then boom! Jesus is grown up and starting his ministry. I'm sure LOTS of interesting things happened between those times. But we only get it summed up in that verse. Doesn't mean stuff didn't happen, but apparently that's all we need to know.

Last example. Abraham and Sarah getting Isaac. Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was borne to him. And Sarah was in her 90's. Ok, I mean we don't have to discuss details, but that's a lot of years of trying to conceive a baby without actually having one. And we don't hear about the agonizing months and years of crying to God because they weren't able to have children. Or the time when Sarah realized she was too old to bear children. I'm sure those times sucked, and probably maybe Sarah didn't feel like she wanted to keep going. Maybe she didn't see a point of living if she couldn't have her dreams realized. Or, she didn't see a point of living if God wasn't going to be faithful to her.

But, He was. And still is.  "Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him." Gen. 21:1-2

We don't get to hear about the hours/days/months/years of anguish and despair, faced by all of the great heros in the Bible. We know there was a struggle, and then we know there was a promise fulfilled. Does that mean they didn't have horrible times during the waiting? No. But God didn't think it was necessary to put all that in there. Maybe that's because He knows we all get to experience times like this, so we don't need to read about everyone else's. Maybe that's why we have the friends we do now, or the books we do now, to hear about such dark times that were turned to light. Maybe He doesn't want us to dwell on the darkness and fear, and just look at the end goal.

Or maybe, it's because those times weren't the ending.

 The "waiting" period wasn't the end. He gave us examples time and time and time again throughout the Bible to to minimize the times of our waiting and suffering, but to show us that's not the focus; that's not the end goal. The promise is fulfilled. There is victory.

Jacob got to marry Rachel. Sarah gave birth to Isaac. Daniel made it through the night in the lion's den. Noah finally got off the ark. The Israelites made it through the time in the desert. Jonah survived being in the whale. 

Jesus died...and then rose again, defeating death, sin, and the devil himself.

As Christians, we do know the future. I mean, not like, "the future future," but we do know the ending. And it is victory. It is Victory.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor. 4:17

Sometimes we don't get to choose the battles we face or the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometimes we don't get to choose the length of time we must suffer with a certain issue. 
But they don't have to define you're entire book in the Bible. They might not even define and entire chapter. They might only get one verse. 

I also think of that Laura Story song, Blessings
"What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"

A thousand sleepless nights sounds like a really long time. So do 40 years in the desert. But I know Who wins, and Who has already won. 

I heard this verse in a new way the other day "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6)." Right now, in the midst of my struggle, I feel like God has plainly showed me the truth time and time and time again. Yet I need to be shown again. And again. And I worry that He will just get tired of showing me the Truth, and eventually stop. But I heard that verse spoken over me in a new way, that He who started this work, and began showing me His truth, will continue to do so until it is completed and I get it. :) Praise God for that. 

So even now, I write this in faith. Even now I hear the lie from the enemy telling me, "yea, "if" you get through this. you probably won't." Well, right now I'm calling him out on his lies and saying Yes, I WILL get through this, because I choose Jesus and He who began a good work in me will carry it out to completion, and God will be glorified.  

 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor. 4:17

You should also listen to "Times" by Tenth Avenue North. Cause it rocks. And is true.